You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
