i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
