I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
