i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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