i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
