dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
