The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
