Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
