We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
