oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
