fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
