I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
