just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
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