On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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