my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
