Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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