the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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