everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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