I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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