it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
