I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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