I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
