We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
