so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
