I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
