foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
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