your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
ugly people sure do ruin things
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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