tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Floor bacon is actually really good
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
