He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
