you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
