good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
In America we eat man semen.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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