After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
