Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
