Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
