if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
