Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
