Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
