Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
40s are totally the cure
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
