Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
