I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
