I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts