I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his