He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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