standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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