Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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