Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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