She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize