Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
