also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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