Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
