Where is the hickey?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
