Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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