Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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