if you like me you must not know who I am
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
