I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
its liver damage thursday
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
