I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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