She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize
