and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
