My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Randomize
