I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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