i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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