Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
He told me they were just razor bumps!
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
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