dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
