things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
