yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
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