So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
