I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
