Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
