I smell stomach acid.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
